Tour de France -04/07/2009
BS: I should Mona-Coco
Warning: despite celebrating his birthday with a heavy night on horse tranquilizer and amphetamines, Blazin' Saddles has been cleared by Eurosport authorities to blog. You see, like cycling, this isn't the real world.
How about a quick game of five degrees of separation for starters?
1. Monaco is the home of Formula One's most famous circuit
2. Sebastian Vettel won the last F1 GP driving the Red Bull Renault
3. Red Bull recently launched a new Cola flavoured drink which was banned in Germany (Vettel's Heimat) over cocaine content fears
4. Cola used to be made from the same coca leaves that make up the nefarious party drug cocaine
5. Cocaine is the recreational drug that a French arbitration court think is OK for a top Belgian cyclist (and role model) to partake in - not once, not twice, but three times
Oh well, BS is no saint: the Tour will be all the better for Tom Boonen. But just try telling ASO that - Christian Prudhomme really has eggs on his face (and we're talking proper eggs, not the type Thomas Dekker likes to scramble).
So, here BS is in Monaco, the second smallest principality and second smallest country in the world. How Cadel Evans must sympathise.
Ah, Monaco, home of fast cars, casinos, seagulls considerably richer than Charley Wegelius, glamorous tax exiles and washed-up cyclists like Alexandre Vinokourov.
Normally busy this time of the summer giving blood, a pregnant Vino's concentrating on getting back into the peloton. And what better way than telling your future boss to employ you - or get lost.
Astringent wit aside, isn't Vino playing a rather sly game? By siding with the Kazakh authorities and Grand Tour maestro Alberto Contador, this could be genius.
Indeed, being told that he is going to be an out-and-out team leader isn't something the Spaniard has heard in two years since joining Astana.
BOOM BOOM: Dutch pro-continental team Vacansoleil have dismissed rider Clement L'Hotellerie for failing a doping control. BS suggests the Frenchman tries his hand in the hospitality business.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "How can a sample be negative in 2007 and now suddenly gets tested again? That is wrong." No, what's wrong, Master Dekker, is that cyclists dope in the first place.
PLAT DU JOUR: Stocafi (cod cooked in tomato sauce), Socca (pancake made with chick pea flower) and Barbagiuan (pastry filled with pumpkin and rice). Washed down with a 'Monaco' - a refreshing cocktail of lager, lemonade and grenadine syrup.
PROLOGUE PREDICTION: Cancellara or Evans (maybe in that order)
OVERALL PARIS PREDICTION: 1. Contador 2. Menchov 3. Evans 4. Kreuziger 5. Armstrong 6. Sastre 7. A Schleck 8. Gesink 9. Leipheimer 10 Vande Velde
Don't forget to follow Blazin' Saddles throughout the day on www.twitter.com/saddleblaze